One of my friends sent this to me via e-mail. It cracked me up so i decided to copy-paste it here.
Wonderful Definitions
School:
A place where Parents pay and children play
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Father:
A banker provided by nature
Criminal:
A person no different from the rest ....except that he/she got caught
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after
Doctor:
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise
Have a nice day!!! 
Subject: Wonderful definitions 
Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:07 pm
